I went a Beth Moore Simulcast this past weekend on insecurity. The topic is one that no one really wants admit to, but most of us deal with. My biggest take away from the event seemed to really shed some light on how some of my insecurities have been spring out these days. For me, insecurity does not produce humility. While this may not seem obvious on the surface, looking at it from a different way helped me. Insecurity does not protect you from pride. If it did, then, if humility is the opposite of pride, then insecurity would protect you from pride by keeping you humble. Insecurity doesn’t do that. It keeps you frustrated, frozen, fearful or in some other way ineffective. Humility isn’t supposed to make you ineffective. Beth pointed out that insecurity is really twisted up pride. Insecurity is still all about me and how I’m feeling. That is pride in a nutshell, making everything me centered.
I’m just going to put it all out there. So how does that apply to me? Lately my insecurities have looked like a “beware of pride” attack, especially as relating to this writing I’m supposed to be committed to. It is one thing to lead a group in Bible Study using someone else’s materials, or to write the occasional blog entry, but I really feel the calling to dig into a subject deeper, and write a little more in depth, maybe even ending up with a study when I’m done. There’s where my insecurities jump in. What makes me think I can, should, or even have the right to do that? I’m too sinful, tarnished, uneducated, or otherwise unqualified to think I’m capable of doing that. Fact is, some people may even think that about me. But should I let that matter to me, or even worse stop me? The real truth is that I am all of those things, but I still feel God has led me to do this. Maybe all I’m supposed to get out of this is a message for me. I would love to have something to share at the end, but what I have to keep reminding myself of is that God gets to make that decision. I do the work, He builds the result.
Thanks for reading my rant. Sometimes the best way to fight something is head on, shining a bright light of truth on it. So, here’s where I need to focus. I am loved, I am forgiven, if God has called me, He will equip me. The success of the results is His to judge. My standards are not the measuring stick. So, if you want to give me a little accountability, next time you see me, ask me how it is going in Ephesians.
Choose Joy!
