It’s been about a month since God rescued us from the semi (see previous post) and since then, I have often found the event in my thoughts. It took a few days to get beyond the sheer shock of the event and I’ve been amazed by the myriad of directions my mind has taken.
One of the first things I noticed was how much easier it was to believe God and have faith in Him. I have lost track of how many times I have thought, “If God can save us from a semi, this is a piece of cake!” Our human nature wants proof that someone is trustworthy. God was so mighty in His demonstration of His protection, I can easily find my faith to trust Him to handle the next thing I’m facing. I have delighted in the opportunities to testify of his faithfulness in this event, maybe even too enthusiastically, but He is so amazing, it’s just hard to resist!
One of the other things I noticed was the sense of relief I’ve felt. This one has caused me to stop and question what I’m feeling. I’m finding that relief exists on many levels. First, I’ll be real honest. I am a pain weenie. So, I am relieved beyond words that God spared me the pain of an automobile accident that day. I know He would have been with me during all the pain, but I’m extremely relieved and grateful that I was spared. Then I think about Ken and Alex, and my gratitude that they were spared pain goes even further.
Next, I realized I was realized in thinking about Alex and Ken, it would have been very difficult if only part of us had survived an accident. God made us for eternal relationship with Him, and our human relationships share that DNA. We don’t like separation and endings. We want permanence in our relationships. Whoever was left here was going to have to deal with the separation from those that went home. That’s even more pain, this time the emotional kind. So again, my relief and gratitude soar.
Finally, we didn’t die. I felt relief, but soon realized that meant I didn’t go home. I feel this wisp of longing go through my soul when I think about that. Was it wrong for me to feel relief about still being alive? As a mere human, I cling to the known and am apprehensive about the unknown. God placed into us the desire to live and an instinct for self-preservation. So, I think it is normal to feel this way. I know I don’t want to feel like someone I knew years ago, that so badly wanted to go home to heaven, that being here on earth was almost depressing. They were hard to be around sometimes. I don’t think that’s what God wants for us, to live here, miserable and waiting to go home. We are here for a purpose, which gives me my big reason that I think it is ok to be relieved to still be alive. God still has things for me to do. I have a purpose to fulfill for the kingdom. God loves me enough to allow me to participate in His plans. I don’t just have to sit by and watch Him do His thing. He values me enough to allow me to jump in and get messy doing the work of the kingdom, a very good reason to be alive indeed.
So, occasionally, I’ll feel that wisp of longing, wondering what it might be like to be home with Jesus, but then I’ll return to the business of living. Right now I have some assignments to work on, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, writer of this blog, and shortly after our rescue, I found out I get to teach again this fall. God is good, all the time. Period. Amen.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Not Today
This blog’s purpose is to declare God’s praises, and today I have some serious praises to declare.
Ken, Alex and I left around lunch time on Saturday for a vacation to Atlanta around a visit to the Georgia Tech campus. It was overcast all day and we drove in and out of light rain all afternoon. We were right at exit 154 on I-85 south in Georgia, less than an hour from Atlanta, in a light rain, when as we cleared a hill, we saw cars coming to a stop quickly and Ken managed to get our car to a stop safely at the end of the line.
A quick look in my side mirror saw a passenger truck coming up much too fast and I worried they wouldn’t be able to stop in time. They were not, but the driver had the presence of mind to move to our right into the emergency lane and avoid hitting anybody as they came to a stop about a car length beyond us. We all had a good scare.
Sigh of relief, until I look back again and this time see a semi coming at us way too fast. I’m not sure what to expect when all of a sudden Ken begins to pull the car to the left and forward as quickly and as far as he can as he blurts out, “We’re going to get hit.” What I hadn’t seen at this point was that the semi trailer was fishtailing in the rain and was jack knifing and was coming straight at us.
All I can think is “this is it” and am bracing for impact and I call out “Oh Lord’ and before I can say “help us” the semi blows by us on the right in the emergency lane, very very close to us. The trailer is following getting closer and closer, and I mean mere inches at this point. I’m sure we’re at least going to get our side clipped pretty badly. Amazingly, we are not hit at all. The semi continued barreling by the van in front of us that was probably not expecting anything and hit only their right side mirror, before coming to a stop several car lengths further down the road. I think the first thing I said was, an astonished “we didn’t get hit”, moving into shock with “we could have died”, immediately followed by “God saved us today”. He gave my husband the presence of mind to get the car as far left as possible, those 2-3 feet were the difference we needed, and he gave the semi driver the skill to get his truck straight before reaching us, even though he had to let up on the break to do so, and he was wise enough to try to avoid us to the right. Personally I think God had to lend a hand straightening that truck up that quickly, it just doesn’t normally happen that way.
It turns out just about 30-40 cars in front of us an accident had happened with several cars and semis involved, probably much like we were able to avoid. We had to sit for quite a while with traffic completely stopped while emergency personnel continued to pour in. We finally went up the exit ramp to take a detour, since they had shut down 85 at that point. On our lovely Georgia country back road detour, we passed a church with a sign that said “Jesus Saves” out front. I had to laugh in my still state of shock and say, “Yes He does! Today He saved us!” I truly thought it was my time to meet Jesus face to face. Only God’s decree “Not Today” could have saved us.
God is so good. That morning while we were leaving our neighborhood I did my usual prayer for our safety on our trip. This morning for some reason I did it aloud for Ken and Alex to hear, praying for our safety and specifically that we not have an accident. Ken added his agreement to our prayer. God heard, God answered. He could have called us home, but “Not Today”.
Glory to God Most High. He alone is worthy of all praise and adoration. He holds my life in His hands, and cherishes me as His prized possession. His love for me is unfailing. He is good, He is wise. He is the one true God. I love you Lord, more than I can say, and while I long to see you face to face, it looks like I still have some thing to do for you. Make me usable and a delight to you. Thank you for your protection over me and my family. You are good all the time, all the time You are good. You are God, and I am yours.
Ken, Alex and I left around lunch time on Saturday for a vacation to Atlanta around a visit to the Georgia Tech campus. It was overcast all day and we drove in and out of light rain all afternoon. We were right at exit 154 on I-85 south in Georgia, less than an hour from Atlanta, in a light rain, when as we cleared a hill, we saw cars coming to a stop quickly and Ken managed to get our car to a stop safely at the end of the line.
A quick look in my side mirror saw a passenger truck coming up much too fast and I worried they wouldn’t be able to stop in time. They were not, but the driver had the presence of mind to move to our right into the emergency lane and avoid hitting anybody as they came to a stop about a car length beyond us. We all had a good scare.
Sigh of relief, until I look back again and this time see a semi coming at us way too fast. I’m not sure what to expect when all of a sudden Ken begins to pull the car to the left and forward as quickly and as far as he can as he blurts out, “We’re going to get hit.” What I hadn’t seen at this point was that the semi trailer was fishtailing in the rain and was jack knifing and was coming straight at us.
All I can think is “this is it” and am bracing for impact and I call out “Oh Lord’ and before I can say “help us” the semi blows by us on the right in the emergency lane, very very close to us. The trailer is following getting closer and closer, and I mean mere inches at this point. I’m sure we’re at least going to get our side clipped pretty badly. Amazingly, we are not hit at all. The semi continued barreling by the van in front of us that was probably not expecting anything and hit only their right side mirror, before coming to a stop several car lengths further down the road. I think the first thing I said was, an astonished “we didn’t get hit”, moving into shock with “we could have died”, immediately followed by “God saved us today”. He gave my husband the presence of mind to get the car as far left as possible, those 2-3 feet were the difference we needed, and he gave the semi driver the skill to get his truck straight before reaching us, even though he had to let up on the break to do so, and he was wise enough to try to avoid us to the right. Personally I think God had to lend a hand straightening that truck up that quickly, it just doesn’t normally happen that way.
It turns out just about 30-40 cars in front of us an accident had happened with several cars and semis involved, probably much like we were able to avoid. We had to sit for quite a while with traffic completely stopped while emergency personnel continued to pour in. We finally went up the exit ramp to take a detour, since they had shut down 85 at that point. On our lovely Georgia country back road detour, we passed a church with a sign that said “Jesus Saves” out front. I had to laugh in my still state of shock and say, “Yes He does! Today He saved us!” I truly thought it was my time to meet Jesus face to face. Only God’s decree “Not Today” could have saved us.
God is so good. That morning while we were leaving our neighborhood I did my usual prayer for our safety on our trip. This morning for some reason I did it aloud for Ken and Alex to hear, praying for our safety and specifically that we not have an accident. Ken added his agreement to our prayer. God heard, God answered. He could have called us home, but “Not Today”.
Glory to God Most High. He alone is worthy of all praise and adoration. He holds my life in His hands, and cherishes me as His prized possession. His love for me is unfailing. He is good, He is wise. He is the one true God. I love you Lord, more than I can say, and while I long to see you face to face, it looks like I still have some thing to do for you. Make me usable and a delight to you. Thank you for your protection over me and my family. You are good all the time, all the time You are good. You are God, and I am yours.
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